For those of you who aren’t familiar with the work of Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship psychologist, he formulated the idea of “bids.” In relationships, people make bids to their partners. A bid can sound like, “Come look at this bird outside!” or, “Guess what happened at work today?” or simply, “Come here, babe.” The point is that a bid is a request for presence or connection in some way. To respond, their partners can have one of three reactions to their bids: turning away, turning towards, or turning against.
Turning away: “Not right now, I’m busy.”
Turning towards: “Okay, coming!” or, “What happened? Tell me!” …
This article is an expansion of the seven archetypes of masculinity, specifically focusing on one archetype — The Director. The idea of the seven archetypes (Artist, Poet, Director, Warrior, Sage, Dark Knight, and Lover) was originally created by the brilliant Karen Brody and is explained in her book Open Her.
This expansion of The Director is simply my own.
As you may or may not know, The Director archetype is the directional force of the masculine. It gives literal direction, whereas the feminine delights in being taken or whisked into another world, or simply another direction. …
So, I’ll get right down to it. There are five things I started doing (or used to do, that I brought back) that have not only changed the way my self-isolation is going, but that have changed my overall lifestyle in amazing ways. And they’re suuuuuuper simple.
Self-isolation was, at the beginning, a confusing time. I realized that a lot of my routine has been shaped around where I was going out in the world, and when there was suddenly nowhere to go, I had to find new ground.
Now, here are the crucial, simple things I do each day for emotional, mental, and physical…