How understanding “bids” can revolutionize your communication

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the work of Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship psychologist, he formulated the idea of “bids.” In relationships, people make bids to their partners. A bid can sound like, “Come look at this bird outside!” or, “Guess what happened at work today?” or simply, “Come here, babe.” The point is that a bid is a request for presence or connection in some way. To respond, their partners can have one of three reactions to their bids: turning away, turning towards, or turning against.

Turning away: “Not right now, I’m busy.”

Turning towards: “Okay, coming!” or, “What happened? Tell me!” …

About

Leighann Amanda

Your partner in evolving humanity and relationships. Always exploring the fullest expression of the human spirit.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store