Loving Again After My Fiancé Died

At first, with hope. And then, with conviction.

Photo by Ahmed Hasan on Unsplash

My grief and trauma are a blessing.

Once you get the realness of death and how sudden it can come, even to your life partner, you have a choice.

You can say, “I’m never doing that again,” and steer clear of love.

Or, you can say what I told myself from (almost) the beginning:

“Let grief open your heart, not close it.”

(I used to whisper this to myself all the time. At first, with hope. And then, with conviction.)

And when love finds you again..

You can allow the reality of death to inform how much you will love them.

You can love the hardest you’ve ever loved.

You can notice their greatness — and in all the places you wouldn’t usually look for it.

You can notice their limits, and get curious about them — not disconnected.

You can give them that extra juicy squeeze and kiss before they drive to the store.

You can calm down to look at the bigger picture when you get triggered.

You can become the best version of yourself, for you, and for them.

You can be determined to create the most epic love story with them ever.

You can get that you may lose them, or they may lose you. Scratch that — you WILL lose them, or they WILL lose you.

You can allow yourself to feel that reality. Take it in fully. And let the heartbreak of it allow you to take them in fully.

We keep forgetting this. But we need to remember.

Because life is short, and love is everything.

Leighann Amanda, Life & Relationship Coach
Because life is short, and love is everything

Your partner in evolving humanity and relationships. Always exploring the fullest expression of the human spirit.

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